The Best Laid Plans

This post was written in July 2015 and somehow never managed to be posted.  So here it is almost 7 months later.

We've lived in our house for 16 years now.  It was the house and the neighborhood I dreamed of raising our family.  And our baby is now 17.  I have loved this house.  Enough space so that there was room for everyone but not so overwhelmingly large that it would feel too empty when the kids are off living their lives. We bought the house from the original owners.  They were in their 70's when they sold it to us and raised their family here.  Built in the late 1960's, the original owners had decorated with the times and obviously, took very good care of the house because the turquoise foil print wallpaper in the bathroom was still in great shape.  The olive green sculpted carpet in the living and dining rooms was still in decent shape.  The outside had obviously gotten to be too much for them because you couldn't see the front porch from the street at that time.  The paneling in the family room was nearly black it was so dark.  The price per square foot was amazingly low.  Most people don't buy ugly.  But then most people don't marry a Catholic school teacher, have babies one and two and resign to stay home with the kids and then have a definitely planned and prayed for third baby.  I am definitely not most people and tend to do things most people wouldn't do. So we bought ugly because it was big enough for the family to grow up in and in a neighborhood we really loved.

We have worked on the ugly a little bit at a time over the years.  The bushes out front were gone that first summer.  The foil wallpaper in two of the bathrooms was gone in the first few years.  The orange carpet in the bedroom was gone before we moved in.  But one huge project remained and that was our kitchen and dining room.  The flooring was different in the two room even though they are completely open to each other. The textured beige wallpaper was original.  The dark cabinets were ugly and because of the detail hard to keep clean.  Doing the kitchen was going to be a big project.  And I like to cook and having your kitchen torn apart can definitely hinder that.  My kids still sit and talk while I cook.  I love that.  So even though I hated the kitchen and knew it had to be done, I loved the space because it really was the heart of our home.

We knew we had put it off long enough.   All the kids could drive so the taxi service was not needed for the first time ever. My husband had put aside money to buy the supplies. His best friend, who has actually built entire houses,  was willing to help with the installation of the floor.  I was up for painting.  Everything.  Walls, ceiling, trim, cabinets.  There was one glitch we hadn't counted on.

My Dad. He had been seriously ill for several months this spring but was doing much better.  He came home from rehab the day after Memorial Day.  He needed a bit of help so we had aides scheduled for two two hour shifts each day.  Then June came.  Three more hospitalizations each one lasting nearly a week.  Each one leaving him a bit weaker and more confused until overnight he needed someone with him 24/7.  It happened literally overnight.  I said goodnight to him one night and the next morning I was woken by the phone ringing at 5:23.  He had been so confused and disoriented that he ended up in the ER.  I honestly thought it would just be a few days to get him back on a routine.  So my brother, sister, and I decided we would just split up the time.  Well, that was June 27.  It is now July 23.  He has made huge strides and I do see a light at the end of the tunnel. It's exciting to see him at nearly 84 years old fighting to get back to his life and regular activities.  This week we have added more aides.  So now he will have 9 hours a day with aides and we will cover the other 15.  It's still crazy but once again I am believing that it's just temporary and that he will be back to being on his own in the near future.

Unfortunately, my kitchen is suffering.  We are still living with folding tables holding things that should live in cupboards and walls half painted.  Counters that need to be constantly cleared because of the patching, priming, and painting that need to be finished.  I don't like clutter, it just stresses me out.  And right now every inch of living space in my house is cluttered.  And I HATE it.

I am a big believer in things happen for a reason and that everything is a chance to learn and grow.  This is the summer of having no control for me.  I consider myself a person of faith and absolutely trust that God has a plan and is in control.  My lesson this summer is to practice that faith and trust.  This is not how this was supposed to go.  I knew what I "needed" to accomplish.  What I wanted to do with my family. Virtually none of that has happened.  Instead, I am learning and sacrificing and praying.  A lot.  And trying to refocus on what really matters.