Empty Nesting

"How's that empty nest?"  or "It's back to just the two of you again."  or any of a number of variations on that theme. Those are the comments we hear these days when we're out and we run into friends.  It's crazy how fast that parenting season of life went.  I saw a neighbor, whose son was a boyhood friend of my middle child, and chatted for a bit catching up on how everyone is doing.  We ended the conversation with her saying hard to believe that just like that 20 years are gone.  Yep.  It happens like that.  So fast.

But you know what?  Just like I wouldn't want to go back to middle school or high school or college, I wouldn't want to go back to parenting babies or toddlers or grade schoolers or high schoolers again.  I did love it but it was hard work.  There were hours and hours of driving, cooking, shopping, trying to divert a stubborn toddler's attention,  planning class parties, sitting in bleachers, anniversaries spent at 2 day swimming championships, birthdays spent at football games.  I wouldn't trade the experience but I wouldn't go back.  

How different it is volunteering for my parish when it doesn't involve a sports team or a class or anyone else in my family.  There's a new freedom that comes from only having to think of the two of us at dinner or in the grocery store.  I have some time now to spend on me and figuring out what this new chapter will hold for me.  I can spend time chatting with my husband or we can both just sit and read and drink a cup of tea.  I actually have time to think and I'm not so busy that I am just on autopilot getting through the day, week, month. 

It's fun spending time with these young adults that my children have become.  I smile when I get their texts.  Just as I always have, I am learning all sorts of things through them.  I get an inside look at their hopes and dreams and hurts and disappointments.  I love talking on the phone about everything and nothing.  I'm aware that often I am a study break and it probably feels less indulgent to call your mom than watch Netflicks.  But I'll take it, enjoy it, and treasure this new stage of life for us.  

And while I am enjoying the peace and quiet and some well earned "me time",  I'm thankful that they still want our input even if they don't always heed our advice.  And I am very thankful and probably happiest when every couple of months I have my busy, loud, food vanishing house back.  I love walking in the front hall and seeing a pile of shoes by the front door.  And I think I will always be sad when those breaks end and I wave good-bye to each child as they head back to their own life.  But hopefully, I've learned to just be present, to enjoy the unique blessings and lessons that each season of life offers.  And to look forward with anticipation and faith to the future.  

Continuing the Journey

Wow it's been over a month since I've posted!  The journey is ongoing and as with everything in life some days and weeks are better than others.  So here's a peek at what and how I'm doing.

December 26 was the day.  Remember this prescription was a class project and it was due the end of November and my daughter wouldn't be home until Christmas break.  That week before Christmas was busy so we decided to get started after Christmas.  My daughter gave me the paper to read.  The calculations didn't look any better when printed out in a neatly organized paper than they had when they were hand written in the lab.  Well, you can't argue facts and I knew what was there were facts so I may as well face the facts and see what I could do about it.  And besides the data that had been collected, I couldn't ignore the fact that I wasn't able to do what I wanted to be able to do.  So I read or skimmed through all the background information and then got to the actual plan.  My prescription to better physical wellness.

To accomplish my goals, which were converted to SMART goals, I would need to a two fold approach focusing on both cardio and strength training.  I would do three days a week on cardio and three days a week on strength.  Six days a week I spend between 45 minutes and an hour working out.  The workouts were designed to use equipment that we have here at home so I can't use the excuse that I can't get to the gym.  If I can walk down to the basement, I can do it.  It is amazing the number of distractions I can find in those few short steps!  Consistency is key but life gets in the way and more often than not, I get in my way.

The strength training right now is a basic total body workout.  My core was exceptionally weak so there is a focus on that but I am working arms and legs, too.  And getting a workout put together by someone who is truly educated is good because the workouts are balanced.  So that means if I work on my quads, then I work on my hamstrings.  Work on the biceps and work on the triceps.  My goals are not to look good but to function as well as possible.  I know that this plan will help me do that.  As a bonus, I will look better because a strong, healthy body looks better than an overweight, out of shape body or even a skinny fat body. 

I am happy to report that in the two months, I have made noticeable progress.  I am able to do more weight or more reps on each of the strength training exercises.  The speed and duration of my cardio workouts have both improved.  I am noticing that my clothing is fitting better and I have lost 14 pounds since that weigh in during the initial assessment.

Walking steps in not a problem anymore.  In fact, the other day I walked up a flight of steps carrying 2 toddlers and it was easy.   And when I genuflected on Sunday, my knee touched the floor and didn't hurt!! I'm pleased that I don't have to limit what I do based on whether or not it's going to hurt.   I am happy to start feeling more like myself.  That is really the encouragement that I needed.

I have a long way to go before I am actually in shape and healthy but I am so much closer than I was six months ago.  I continually need to refocus on eating healthy and not consume so many empty calories.  Gradually, this is improving and I am more aware everyday that this is within my control.  I need to schedule my workouts so that I don't run out of time during the day to get them in.  I need to constantly work on moving from being interested in being healthy and in shape to being committed to be healthy and in shape.  But each healthy choice I make moves me one step closer to my goals.