So I had my reality check and my motivation and had committed to my daughter to be her test subject for her exercise prescription class. The thought of getting back into shape, really in shape was so exciting to me. During the weeks between my first offer and when we were actually able to schedule my time in the lab, there were multiple conversations and my daughter was very clear about what was involved.
However, focusing on details isn't necessarily a strong point for me. I see the big picture really well, I can visualize projects with the best of them but thinking through details is something I often gloss over while I'm making plans. And as the date for my assessment approached, I realized that I had chosen to ignore a few details. I am fairly certain that I chose to ignore these particular details because my "why?" for this project was so strong. I wanted to be strong and independent for a very long time. I didn't want to be a burden to my children. Having a strong "why" is always important because it can get you through the parts of a journey that are uncomfortable or difficult and that was true for me in this situation.
To actually get myself into shape, I needed my daughter to do an exercise prescription for me. In order for her to be able to determine the exercises that I would need to get started on this journey, I would need to undergo a complete physical assessment. We found a date and time for that to happen. I was committed and I told everyone, whether they wanted to know or not. For the first time in decades I was looking forward to being in shape, not just losing weight, not just being able to run a 5K but actually being strong and fit and healthier than ever.
All this sounds good and it was. But when I actually arrived and went with my daughter over to the lab, I could no longer ignore the reality of the situation. In order to truly assess my fitness level there would be a weigh in, calibers, tape measures, and exercises and the lifting of weights and the results of everything would be recorded on paper. UGH!!!! Measurements, weight, BMI are not things I EVER like to find out but to have my daughter find out and actually be the person to share this information with me was a very humbling thought. And that is why I refused to think about it until it was actually happening.
The numbers-- BMI, weight, ratios-- were far worse than I had thought they would be and placed me at a relatively high risk for health issues. When I had my latest blood work done for my annual physical, the results all came back in the normal or good range. Now that I was getting these assessment results from this very professional and competent exercise science student I couldn't pretend anymore. I had been dodging a bullet and I had to face the facts. I was obese and weak and reached my max heart rate WAY too soon. Looking at the results of the tests (some of which I couldn't even begin much less complete) and then thinking about my family health history, it was a very rude awakening.
If I didn't make changes and make them soon, I would be looking at a life filled with doctor appointments, prescriptions, tests, and constantly watching numbers. Remaining independent would be a struggle and I would quickly become one of those very old 50 somethings who struggle to do every day activities. And I would have no one to blame but myself. By turning a blind eye to my unhealthy habits and ignoring the things I could no longer do, I was essentially sentencing myself to a quality of life that would not allow me to live the dreams I have for my future. If I had looked closely at what this assessment was going to entail and reveal to me, then I quite possibly would have chickened out. I don't know if I would have been strong enough to go through with it. Fortunately for me, I had committed to someone who means the world to me. I had given myself no choice and for that I am truly grateful. Yes, the reality of both the assessment and my physical condition were very humbling and quite embarrassing. But by going through with it and getting these I have been given the gift of knowledge and truth and a way to change the course of my life. And for that I am very grateful.
