I may have mentioned on here once or twice that I have amazing kids. My husband and I have always worked hard but we realize that we are truly blessed. Our kids (technically adult children) are making us seem like we knew what we were doing. As awesome as my family is, I find myself picking up papers, dishes, or socks (yes really!). Or doing various other odd jobs around the house or yard that I swear I asked someone to do. Nothing earth shattering, just annoying things. And I know if I truly NEED help, my family is right there and I have 100% confidence in them. But every now and then it's frustrating and just because Mom asked should be enough of a reason to do something.
This morning on my drive into work, I was listening to Teresa Tomeo interview Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle on my local Catholic radio station. Donna-Marie is the author of a book on the apparitions of Our Lady at Fatima. It was an interesting conversation. I grew up loving the Blessed Lady because my mom really had a relationship with her, she loved her as a mother and a role model. Mom taught me very early that Mama Mary is such a wonderful model for us.
There is a connection here. When discussing Fatima, the conversation has to include the instructions Mary gave the children. Mary, as our heavenly mother, has a love and concern for us that we can't begin to understand. Mary has repeatedly asked us to pray the rosary and make sacrifices to help bring peace and the conversion of sinners. As I got off the freeway and approached the parking lot, it literally hit me. Like right between the eyes. I am just like my kids!!!
I could almost hear Mary talking to her closest girlfriends. "Mary Ellen is a great kid. Really in all the big things she's doing well. But honestly, you'd think she could do a couple little things just because I asked her! I mean I'm her Mom and just because Mom asked should be enough."
I am a good person and I offer my time, talent, and treasure fairly regularly, but I am a work in progress. I love going to mass and am grateful for all the sacraments. But so very often, I find myself busy about nothing important and end up missing an opportunity for confession or adoration or I get distracted and end up not saying the rosary that I purposely sat down to say. So just like my kids, I mean to do all the things, little and big, that my Mom has asked me to do but somehow the days get busy and I don't make it happen.
I'm going to end here and go take advantage of this Advent season to do some of the things Mama Mary asked me to do. After all, just because Mom asked should be reason enough.
Friday, December 7, 2018
Friday, July 6, 2018
Life's challenges bring growth
This morning when I opened Facebook the first thing that popped up was a memory from 4 years ago. It was a picture of my middle child, oldest son, the summer after high school graduation. I smiled as I looked at that sweet, happy 18 year old and thought about the journey our family has traveled since that picture was taken.
That day he had 3 living grandparents. They were all living independently, driving, involved in various volunteer projects, going to church, meeting friends for lunch or dinner, going to plays. We would need to call and be sure that they were going to be home if we wanted to come by to visit and if we invited them over, it was possible that they couldn't come because they already had plans.
As I write this post, only one grandparent is still here with us. We never have to call to see if he's available because he lives in a memory care unit now. He still has a smile that lights up his face when the kids come to visit but he needs to be awake and calm for us to see that. It's a tough road to travel with a loved one and sadly, there are many families on similar roads.
But there are those who think that people shouldn't have to travel these types of journeys. That there is no dignity in living like this. From my perspective, I couldn't disagree more. It's through times of challenge that we grow and become better.
A pianist doesn't improve by playing the same exact song, notes or chords. The improvement comes through continually attempting more difficult pieces. A pole vaulter doesn't reach new heights by staying with the same pole, exact same form or technique.
Isn't building character and ability the reason that we sign our kids up for piano, dance, swimming, karate? Kids that participate in almost anything learn that just because you fail in the beginning, doesn't mean you will always fail. Sometimes it all comes together and you get it. But sometimes it never does all come together and you learn that isn't your activity. And sometimes that hurts and that stinks but it's all part of life. When we try and fail we learn and grow. And when we have the opportunity to grow beyond our frustrations and failures, then we develop resilience. And when we are resilient, we are stronger and better prepared for life.
The same is true when we are presented the opportunity to journey with a friend or family member who is suffering. It's not pretty. It can be sad or frustrating or scary. It could be a time of anger or frustration with God. Or it can be a time of growing closer to God and your loved one. Our responses to the situation will be as numerous as the people in those situations. And really way beyond that number because from day to day our individual responses can change. And that's all OK because it's an exhausting, humbling, sometimes frightening journey. Just like every other area of our lives, when we meet these challenges head on, we see growth. A religious or spiritual person will likely find growth in the spiritual life when presented with the opportunity to accompany someone on this journey. But I think anyone will find an increase in empathy and compassion. These experiences can make you realize that being kind is a better option because you just never really know what someone else is going through.
That day he had 3 living grandparents. They were all living independently, driving, involved in various volunteer projects, going to church, meeting friends for lunch or dinner, going to plays. We would need to call and be sure that they were going to be home if we wanted to come by to visit and if we invited them over, it was possible that they couldn't come because they already had plans.
As I write this post, only one grandparent is still here with us. We never have to call to see if he's available because he lives in a memory care unit now. He still has a smile that lights up his face when the kids come to visit but he needs to be awake and calm for us to see that. It's a tough road to travel with a loved one and sadly, there are many families on similar roads.
But there are those who think that people shouldn't have to travel these types of journeys. That there is no dignity in living like this. From my perspective, I couldn't disagree more. It's through times of challenge that we grow and become better.
A pianist doesn't improve by playing the same exact song, notes or chords. The improvement comes through continually attempting more difficult pieces. A pole vaulter doesn't reach new heights by staying with the same pole, exact same form or technique.
Isn't building character and ability the reason that we sign our kids up for piano, dance, swimming, karate? Kids that participate in almost anything learn that just because you fail in the beginning, doesn't mean you will always fail. Sometimes it all comes together and you get it. But sometimes it never does all come together and you learn that isn't your activity. And sometimes that hurts and that stinks but it's all part of life. When we try and fail we learn and grow. And when we have the opportunity to grow beyond our frustrations and failures, then we develop resilience. And when we are resilient, we are stronger and better prepared for life.
The same is true when we are presented the opportunity to journey with a friend or family member who is suffering. It's not pretty. It can be sad or frustrating or scary. It could be a time of anger or frustration with God. Or it can be a time of growing closer to God and your loved one. Our responses to the situation will be as numerous as the people in those situations. And really way beyond that number because from day to day our individual responses can change. And that's all OK because it's an exhausting, humbling, sometimes frightening journey. Just like every other area of our lives, when we meet these challenges head on, we see growth. A religious or spiritual person will likely find growth in the spiritual life when presented with the opportunity to accompany someone on this journey. But I think anyone will find an increase in empathy and compassion. These experiences can make you realize that being kind is a better option because you just never really know what someone else is going through.
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
A Lenten Challenge
WOW! It has been almost one year since my last post. I have to admit that I did try to get another blog going on another site with a slightly different focus but that didn't work out like I had planned so I'm back here for a while. And I have to admit, that it does kind of feel like coming home.
So it's Ash Wednesday and all of Catholic media, social and otherwise, is buzzing with Lenten devotions and journeys and readings and ideas. My email account and timeline are brimming with ideas for this season of preparation. If I honestly look at my journal and think about all the reading and learning and reflecting that I want to do this lent, I need to go to a dessert for the 40 days and do nothing else. I am super excited about continuing the ladies bible study at my parish, Loyola Press' Living Lent, Best Lent Ever from Dynamic Catholic, and the online book club with WINE (Women in the New Evangelization). I am attempting to do all of these and do them well. Plus, I do love going to daily mass 2 or 3 times a week and I don't think Lent is the season to cut back on that. So if I am really going to stick to this, I will be automatically cutting back on social media and watching TV.
Don't worry, my challenge for you has nothing to do with being as overzealous with Lenten practices as I am. My challenge comes from a conversation I had with a woman who is a fairly new Catholic. This woman, who happens to be African American, truly blessed me this afternoon and without knowing it challenged me to rethink all of my Lenten ambitions. The two of us were chatting about something completely separate and she mentioned her Catholic Faith. I shared that that was something we had in common. She had grown up in predominately black, bible churches. But she shared it wasn't in the music or clapping or preaching that the Spirit found her and won her heart. It was in a predominately white, Roman Catholic church that the Holy Spirit spoke to her and she told me, it was just so different. She looked at me at that point and asked if I knew why. She was so honestly passionate about it that I didn't want to interrupt her, she continued and said, "It is the Eucharist! It's..." and I filled in "the body, blood, soul, and divinity of our Lord". And at that point she apologized because she was in tears and had to sit and pause for a moment. When she composed herself a bit, she told me that she had just been confirmed in 2016 and it was still so new and so overwhelming and beautiful to have such a gift. Her reverence and love was so inspiring. We spoke for a few more minutes, but then we both had to get on with our days.
Throughout the rest of the day, my mind (and heart) kept going back to the amazement and joy in my new friend's eyes. And it made me think about my daughter when she was in first grade and couldn't wait to make her First Communion because then she would be able to receive Jesus. Then it made me think about my son the first time he told me he thought he had a vocation to the priesthood and he said "Mom, think about the joy on Fr. Bob's face (my uncle). Who wouldn't want that joy?" (Disclaimer, my son denies that this was a real vocation conversation b/c he was only about 6 but I'm counting it). Hopefully, most of us have had the experience of sharing a First Communion day with a second grader who was just so excited about finally being able to join the community at the table of the Eucharist. And the conversation and these thoughts bring me to my challenge.
I want to go into Holy Thursday and the Triduum with the awe and reverence that my friend had today. I want to use these devotions and reflections as a way to learn and grow closer to Jesus. I want to learn so that my faith and wonder will grow to appreciate even more His love and sacrifice for me. I'm challenging myself and you to use this time to fall in love again with the Eucharist, the greatest gift any of us will ever receive.
So it's Ash Wednesday and all of Catholic media, social and otherwise, is buzzing with Lenten devotions and journeys and readings and ideas. My email account and timeline are brimming with ideas for this season of preparation. If I honestly look at my journal and think about all the reading and learning and reflecting that I want to do this lent, I need to go to a dessert for the 40 days and do nothing else. I am super excited about continuing the ladies bible study at my parish, Loyola Press' Living Lent, Best Lent Ever from Dynamic Catholic, and the online book club with WINE (Women in the New Evangelization). I am attempting to do all of these and do them well. Plus, I do love going to daily mass 2 or 3 times a week and I don't think Lent is the season to cut back on that. So if I am really going to stick to this, I will be automatically cutting back on social media and watching TV.
Don't worry, my challenge for you has nothing to do with being as overzealous with Lenten practices as I am. My challenge comes from a conversation I had with a woman who is a fairly new Catholic. This woman, who happens to be African American, truly blessed me this afternoon and without knowing it challenged me to rethink all of my Lenten ambitions. The two of us were chatting about something completely separate and she mentioned her Catholic Faith. I shared that that was something we had in common. She had grown up in predominately black, bible churches. But she shared it wasn't in the music or clapping or preaching that the Spirit found her and won her heart. It was in a predominately white, Roman Catholic church that the Holy Spirit spoke to her and she told me, it was just so different. She looked at me at that point and asked if I knew why. She was so honestly passionate about it that I didn't want to interrupt her, she continued and said, "It is the Eucharist! It's..." and I filled in "the body, blood, soul, and divinity of our Lord". And at that point she apologized because she was in tears and had to sit and pause for a moment. When she composed herself a bit, she told me that she had just been confirmed in 2016 and it was still so new and so overwhelming and beautiful to have such a gift. Her reverence and love was so inspiring. We spoke for a few more minutes, but then we both had to get on with our days.
Throughout the rest of the day, my mind (and heart) kept going back to the amazement and joy in my new friend's eyes. And it made me think about my daughter when she was in first grade and couldn't wait to make her First Communion because then she would be able to receive Jesus. Then it made me think about my son the first time he told me he thought he had a vocation to the priesthood and he said "Mom, think about the joy on Fr. Bob's face (my uncle). Who wouldn't want that joy?" (Disclaimer, my son denies that this was a real vocation conversation b/c he was only about 6 but I'm counting it). Hopefully, most of us have had the experience of sharing a First Communion day with a second grader who was just so excited about finally being able to join the community at the table of the Eucharist. And the conversation and these thoughts bring me to my challenge.
I want to go into Holy Thursday and the Triduum with the awe and reverence that my friend had today. I want to use these devotions and reflections as a way to learn and grow closer to Jesus. I want to learn so that my faith and wonder will grow to appreciate even more His love and sacrifice for me. I'm challenging myself and you to use this time to fall in love again with the Eucharist, the greatest gift any of us will ever receive.
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