Life's challenges bring growth

This morning when I opened Facebook the first thing that popped up was a memory from 4 years ago.  It was a picture of my middle child, oldest son, the summer after high school graduation.  I smiled as I looked at that sweet, happy 18 year old and thought about the journey our family has traveled since that picture was taken.

That day he had 3 living grandparents.  They were all living independently, driving, involved in various volunteer projects, going to church, meeting friends for lunch or dinner, going to plays.  We would need to call and be sure that they were going to be home if we wanted to come by to visit and if we invited them over, it was possible that they couldn't come because they already had plans.

As I write this post, only one grandparent is still here with us.  We never have to call to see if he's available because he lives in a memory care unit now.  He still has a smile that lights up his face when the kids come to visit but he needs to be awake and calm for us to see that.  It's a tough road to travel with a loved one and sadly, there are many families on similar roads.

But there are those who think that people shouldn't have to travel these types of journeys.  That there is no dignity in living like this.  From my perspective, I couldn't disagree more.  It's through times of challenge that we grow and become better.

A pianist doesn't improve by playing the same exact song, notes or chords.  The improvement comes through continually attempting more difficult pieces.  A pole vaulter doesn't reach new heights by staying with the same pole, exact same form or technique.

Isn't building character and ability the reason that we sign our kids up for piano, dance, swimming, karate?  Kids that participate in almost anything learn that just because you fail in the beginning, doesn't mean you will always fail.  Sometimes it all comes together and you get it.  But sometimes it never does all come together and you learn that isn't your activity.  And sometimes that hurts and that stinks but it's all part of life.  When we try and fail we learn and grow.  And when we have the opportunity to grow beyond our frustrations and failures, then we develop resilience.  And when we are resilient, we are stronger and better prepared for life.

The same is true when we are presented the opportunity to journey with a friend or family member who is suffering.  It's not pretty.  It can be sad or frustrating or scary. It could be a time of anger or frustration with God. Or it can be a time of growing closer to God and your loved one.  Our responses to the situation will be as numerous as the people in those situations.  And really way beyond that number because from day to day our individual responses can change.  And that's all OK because it's an exhausting, humbling, sometimes frightening journey.  Just like every other area of our lives, when we meet these challenges head on, we see growth.  A religious or spiritual person will likely find growth in the spiritual life when presented with the opportunity to accompany someone on this journey.  But I think anyone will find an increase in empathy and compassion.  These experiences can make you realize that being kind is a better option because you just never really know what someone else is going through. 

Continuing the Journey

Wow it's been over a month since I've posted!  The journey is ongoing and as with everything in life some days and weeks are better than others.  So here's a peek at what and how I'm doing.

December 26 was the day.  Remember this prescription was a class project and it was due the end of November and my daughter wouldn't be home until Christmas break.  That week before Christmas was busy so we decided to get started after Christmas.  My daughter gave me the paper to read.  The calculations didn't look any better when printed out in a neatly organized paper than they had when they were hand written in the lab.  Well, you can't argue facts and I knew what was there were facts so I may as well face the facts and see what I could do about it.  And besides the data that had been collected, I couldn't ignore the fact that I wasn't able to do what I wanted to be able to do.  So I read or skimmed through all the background information and then got to the actual plan.  My prescription to better physical wellness.

To accomplish my goals, which were converted to SMART goals, I would need to a two fold approach focusing on both cardio and strength training.  I would do three days a week on cardio and three days a week on strength.  Six days a week I spend between 45 minutes and an hour working out.  The workouts were designed to use equipment that we have here at home so I can't use the excuse that I can't get to the gym.  If I can walk down to the basement, I can do it.  It is amazing the number of distractions I can find in those few short steps!  Consistency is key but life gets in the way and more often than not, I get in my way.

The strength training right now is a basic total body workout.  My core was exceptionally weak so there is a focus on that but I am working arms and legs, too.  And getting a workout put together by someone who is truly educated is good because the workouts are balanced.  So that means if I work on my quads, then I work on my hamstrings.  Work on the biceps and work on the triceps.  My goals are not to look good but to function as well as possible.  I know that this plan will help me do that.  As a bonus, I will look better because a strong, healthy body looks better than an overweight, out of shape body or even a skinny fat body. 

I am happy to report that in the two months, I have made noticeable progress.  I am able to do more weight or more reps on each of the strength training exercises.  The speed and duration of my cardio workouts have both improved.  I am noticing that my clothing is fitting better and I have lost 14 pounds since that weigh in during the initial assessment.

Walking steps in not a problem anymore.  In fact, the other day I walked up a flight of steps carrying 2 toddlers and it was easy.   And when I genuflected on Sunday, my knee touched the floor and didn't hurt!! I'm pleased that I don't have to limit what I do based on whether or not it's going to hurt.   I am happy to start feeling more like myself.  That is really the encouragement that I needed.

I have a long way to go before I am actually in shape and healthy but I am so much closer than I was six months ago.  I continually need to refocus on eating healthy and not consume so many empty calories.  Gradually, this is improving and I am more aware everyday that this is within my control.  I need to schedule my workouts so that I don't run out of time during the day to get them in.  I need to constantly work on moving from being interested in being healthy and in shape to being committed to be healthy and in shape.  But each healthy choice I make moves me one step closer to my goals.

The Journey.... Getting the numbers

So I had my reality check and my motivation and had committed to my daughter to be her test subject for her exercise prescription class.  The thought of getting back into shape, really in shape was so exciting to me.   During the weeks between my first offer and when we were actually able to schedule my time in the lab, there were multiple conversations and my daughter was very clear about what was involved.

However, focusing on details isn't necessarily a strong point for me.  I see the big picture really well, I can visualize projects with the best of them but thinking through details is something I often gloss over while I'm making plans.  And as the date for my assessment approached, I realized that I had chosen to ignore a few details.  I am fairly certain that I chose to ignore these particular details because my "why?" for this project was so strong.  I wanted to be strong and independent for a very long time.  I didn't want to be a burden to my children.  Having a strong "why" is always important because it can get you through the parts of a journey that are uncomfortable or difficult and that was true for me in this situation.

To actually get myself into shape, I needed my daughter to do an exercise prescription for me.   In order for her to be able to determine the exercises that I would need to get started on this journey, I would need to undergo a complete physical assessment.   We found a date and time for that to happen.  I was committed and I told everyone, whether they wanted to know or not.  For the first time in decades I was looking forward to being in shape, not just losing weight, not just being able to run a 5K but actually being strong and fit and healthier than ever.

All this sounds good and it was.  But when I actually arrived and went with my daughter over to the lab, I could no longer ignore the reality of the situation.  In order to truly assess my fitness level there would be a weigh in, calibers, tape measures, and exercises and the lifting of weights and the results of everything would be recorded on paper.  UGH!!!! Measurements, weight, BMI are not things I EVER like to find out but to have my daughter find out and actually be the person to share this information with me was a very humbling thought.  And that is why I refused to think about it until it was actually happening.

The numbers-- BMI, weight, ratios-- were far worse than I had thought they would be and placed me at a relatively high risk for health issues.  When I had my latest blood work done for my annual physical, the results all came back in the normal or good range.  Now that I was getting these assessment results from this very professional and competent exercise science student I couldn't pretend anymore.  I had been dodging a bullet and I had to face the facts.  I was obese and weak and reached my max heart rate WAY too soon.  Looking at the results of the tests (some of which I couldn't even begin much less complete) and then thinking about my family health history, it was a very rude awakening.

If I didn't make changes and make them soon, I would be looking at a life filled with doctor appointments, prescriptions, tests, and constantly watching numbers.  Remaining independent would be a struggle and I would quickly become one of those very old 50 somethings who struggle to do every day activities. And I would have no one to blame but myself.  By turning a blind eye to my unhealthy habits and ignoring the things I could no longer do, I was essentially sentencing myself to a quality of life that would not allow me to live the dreams I have for my future.  If I had looked closely at what this assessment was going to entail and reveal to me, then I quite possibly would have chickened out.  I don't know if I would have been strong enough to go through with it.  Fortunately for me, I had committed to someone who means the world to me.  I had given myself no choice and for that I am truly grateful. Yes, the reality of both the assessment and my physical condition were very humbling and quite embarrassing. But by going through with it and getting these I have been given the gift of knowledge and truth and a way to change the course of my life. And for that I am very grateful.

The Journey: my inspiration part 1

I always imagined that I would be able to be independent for decades to come.  My Grandma Rhyner has always been my role model for this.  She was always busy, always doing things, accomplishing things that she enjoyed.  She sold Avon for decades (like 6 of them) and she sewed.  She took in sewing during the depression to supplement the family's income.  She could make a winter coat for a woman by just taking her measurements.  And she lived in Green Bay, WI so when she made a winter coat, it had to be warm and really stand up to the elements. She would take the measurements, make a pattern, then make the coat. Later in life, she mostly sewed quilts.  She made quilts for everyone in the family.  Between me and my kids, I think we still have close to a dozen Great-Grandma quilts around the house.  And she donated quilts to the missions.  She was the roll lady at the Cathedral in Green Bay for decades.  Meaning she was in charge of arranging the coffee and rolls after masses.  I admired her because she found things she liked to do and did them.  She enjoyed her life and she was productive and charitable.  And in my late teens and twenties, I loved sitting at her dining room table or in her sewing room, chatting for hours.  Her generosity was admirable but what impressed me was  she lived at home, taking care of herself until she was 86 years old.  The last couple of months, things were a bit more difficult but still she could take care of herself.  She got sick just a couple of months after my daughter was born and died just a couple of weeks later.    I was happy that my daughter was able to lay in her arms for a while before she left us but I was so sad that she was gone.

My goal was to live like my Grandma.  She did her own laundry in her basement laundry room until she died. The first Avon order she missed in nearly 60 years was due the day she died. She could do all the everyday things she needed to.  So when I started noticing that, at 52, I couldn't kneel as easily as I thought I should be able to or get up as quickly and easily as I wanted, I knew that living as independently as Grandma had was not going to be possible if I didn't do something soon.  I had two choices:  give up on a goal that I've had for more than half my life or get to work and make some major changes.  I'm choosing to make changes.  Thanks for reading about my journey.  My hope in sharing this journey is that you will find the motivation within yourself to make the changes needed to be a healthier version of yourself.  So don't just read what I'm doing, if you need to make some changes, join me on this journey.  Leave a comment below so we can encourage each other.  

The Journey Begins

The journey that I am referring to here is my journey to fitness.  Somehow, one day I woke up and was 52, overweight, and pathetically out of shape.  If I'm going to divulge the negatives, I will allow myself to brag a bit.  I do walk for an hour 5 mornings a week with my husband and our dog.  These are not strolls through the neighborhood:  there is sweat and the heart rate is increased.  I can still pick up the 55 pound bag of dog food from the pallet at Sam's Club, put in the cart and get it into the car by myself.    And I have not, as yet, had to go to any specific plus sized stores or departments.  My blood work has always come back in the good or OK range.  No prescriptions at this time. So for a while, it was easy to pretend I was doing OK.

If you have read this blog over time, you know that I've lost both my parents already.  Each of them had significant health issues.  Some issues just were the "luck of the draw" so to speak, while others were definitely the result of lifestyle decisions and perhaps a bit of denial.  I was blessed to spend a lot of time with my parents as their health declined.  One piece of insight from that time, is that you can only fool yourself and others for only so long about being in shape or being healthy.  At some point, the facade will start crumbling and the only thing left is the truth.

So even while I was happy with the results of the blood work, I knew I couldn't ignore the decrease in my strength and ability to do things I had always done.  I lettered in sports 5 times in high school and three times in college.  I hiked mountains in Europe.  Now it was almost embarrassing to admit that I had been an athlete.  I could not do a real, touch the floor genuflect in church without holding onto a pew, kneeling down and getting up while gardening took a bit too much effort, standing from the middle cushion of a deep couch took too much effort and had to be almost comical to watch while I pretended that I was handling it effortlessly.  And let's not talk about stairs, especially if I was carrying things. I couldn't pretend any longer.  I had to do something.

But what to do?  I knew enough to know that I didn't know enough to do it on my own. I had walked away from my job so there wasn't much (or any) disposable income sitting around for a gym and a good trainer.   That's where I was in my fitness journey one evening when my daughter called for a chat.  She is an athletic trainer and graduate assistant working toward her master's degree in exercise science.  Fortunately for me she is taking exercise prescription this semester and needed a volunteer for  a case study.  This was it!  I was so excited that I would have someone who actually knew what she was doing and could get me back to being able to do everything I wanted to.  I immediately volunteered to be the subject of her case study.

So that was step one.  A journey of a thousand miles, right?  I'm excited to say that we've taken the next couple steps and those posts will be coming in the near future.  Is it easy? NO!! Am I more than a little annoyed with myself for getting this weak and out of shape?  Absolutely!  But you know what?  I am pretty stinking proud of myself for admitting that I needed to make changes and acting on that.  What are you ignoring or pretending doesn't need to change?  Today could be the start of a thousand miles for you.

PBJ Again

This past weekend was a three day weekend for me, my husband, and our high school son.  We spent Friday catching up on some things (including this blog).  And I took a couple of hours to go to my dad's apartment and sit and chat.  This does not happen as often as I'd like so I wanted to take advantage of a day off work to spend some much needed time with him and give him his late birthday gift.  And my husband spent a couple hours with his parents as well on Friday.   All three 80-something parents were doing well.

Saturday the high schooler was busy all day with previous commitments.  The daughter was going on a school sponsored bus trip with one of her roommates.  My hubby and I were heading down to West Virginia to see the college football player's game thinking it would be an enjoyable day.  The parents and kids were all good.  The leaves along the way were beautiful.  We were bringing college son home for a couple days for fall break.   Life was good and we were ready to spend a relaxing day together.

And then I got a text.  Apparently a few hours after I left my dad, he started coughing and couldn't stop.  So early Saturday morning, my brother took Dad to the ER.  They were still running tests but the cough had subsided a bit. He seemed to be doing well, he was in the hospital where all his "ologists" are on staff: cardiologist, nephrologist, oncologist, etc.  And not much I could do at that point while I was traveling in the opposite direction.

So on we went, looking forward to a fun afternoon of football.  Then my husband's phone rang.  His sister. This was not going to be good.  His dad had hurt his leg and was in the ER.  They were still running tests to see what was wrong and what the game plan would be.  Again, nothing we could do at that point except tell her to keep in touch.

On we went, wanting updates but not really wanting to hear from any other relatives.  At this point I was beginning to worry about things happening in threes.

Really the rest of the day was blissfully uneventful and not much to write about.  EXCEPT our freshman son got in for two series and his team won!  He has worked really hard and loves football.  Seeing him so happy and doing what he loves makes us happy.    

Several days later  the college son is back to school after break and both dads are out of the hospital.  My dad is back at his apartment.  My father in law is in rehab getting physical therapy for his leg.  And once again life in the sandwich  is good, sometimes a bit too interesting but always good.

The things you don't think about

As is true for many of you,  I have a ton of information in my head that I don't use on a regular basis.    And much of that information I don't think about or talk about.  It is just there.  The more I write this blog, the more I realize that I don't really talk about me very often either.  For example, a dear friend of more than 20 years, messaged me after an earlier post and said, she didn't know I crocheted.  Huh. I love to crochet and almost always have a project going.

So other information that I have but rarely talk about or even think about. The address of the house where I lived during kindergarten because I had to write that address on the lines under the picture I drew.  My grandparents' addresses because back then you had to actually write letters on paper, put them in an envelope and mail them to keep in touch with far away people or to thank them after birthdays and Christmas gifts were received.  I know how to double or triple a recipe because I love to cook and bake for people and athletes with large appetites.  And because the largest of said athletes will soon be going to college, I will be able to half recipes just as easily I am sure.  I can sew and tie a crazy square quilt from sitting at Grandma's sewing table watching and chatting.  I know how many yards are in a mile because when I started competing in track, the track was 440 yards long.  I also know that the flags at the end of a swimming pool have a purpose and a name, they are not just for decoration.  

And apparently a bit of information that was there and never really talked about is the fact that I have Raynaud's.   When I was playing basketball in high school, the other moms would ask mine what was wrong with my hands that made them change colors.  She always had cold hands and so did I.  It just was and that's pretty much what she told them.  Fast forward a few years (or a decade) and my husband thought  that it was insane that some one's hands could get as cold as mine.  So on a visit to a doctor,  I asked her about my hands.  It was determined to be Raynaud's.  My hands really didn't bother me so I was content to have a name for it and a bit of information.   The quick explanation for those of you not familiar with Raynaud's:  a condition that causes blood vessels to spasm when exposed to cold or due to stress.  These spasm can cause color changes in the skin and be very painful.  

If you read the last post, you know I hurt my knee in May.  My daughter is an athletic training student who just finished her sophomore year of college.  So when she got home, I had her make my ice bags for me.  I could not believe how cold they were.  And I couldn't believe how much the ice hurt.  I typically have a very high tolerance for pain but this was pure torture!  My daughter thought I was just being a wimp about the whole thing.  Once the ice was off, the swelling had gone down so I ice it quite a few times and each session was accompanied by pain and eye rolls by my family.

Two months later, I had a doctor's appointment because we had noticed a skin pigment issue on my hands.   The day before the appointment, I was talking to my daughter about my hands and just casually mentioned that I had Raynaud's.  She literally dropped what she was doing and said, "You have Raynaud's?"   I couldn't believe she didn't know that but she obviously didn't.  She couldn't believe that she didn't know that.  Immediately she was saying that she never knew that and telling me that I shouldn't ever ice.  Apparently, one of the first things you learn about icing athletes is that people with very few conditions (such as Raynaud's) shouldn't ice injuries.

So two lessons learned here.  For me, it's possible that maybe I should mention a few things about my self to those close to me.  I never mentioned Raynaud's to my kids because none of them ever had symptoms so I didn't really see a reason to bring it up.  And I am not really a detail person.  I don't need or want to know details so I don't really spend time finding out details that don't interest me.  Perhaps it would have been good to pay attention to a couple details about Raynaud's.  Knowing that little detail would have saved a couple hours of pain.  And for my daughter, regardless of how well she thinks she knows an athlete, she will always ask the question about Raynaud's.  The experience has given her a great story to tell when she is working with world class athletes or teaching future athletic trainers. 

What aren't you sharing with people close to you?  Something about a hobby or craft that could result in some fun outings or at the very least, some fun conversations?  Or something that could be important like a medical condition?  There are situations where it could prove important for others to know such details.  

Snow Day

Yesterday we were hit with a crazy winter storm.  Heavy rain in the morning that turned to frozen precipitating stuff and then finally all snow.  It was a horrible storm that sadly claimed lives.  But in my little world it was a gift from God.  Why would a winter storm, appropriately named Vulcan, be a gift you ask.    My college girl & oldest child is home on break.  Technically spring break but that just doesn't seem right.  My husband and I both teach high school.  And my boys go to the same school where my husband teaches. And all of us were home because of the storm.  Nothing in this world makes me as happy as all five of us being together.  I had an entire, unscheduled day with all three of my kids & my husband.  Gift!

I got to sleep until 7:15 and then went to work.  Cleaning, laundry, Advocare: check.  Such a feeling of accomplishment to spend some time catching up.

Being in my kitchen with my hubby or one of the kids sitting at the counter while I cook or bake equals happiness for me.  I love cooking & baking. And I adore making a meal for my family then sitting and eating and talking and laughing together.  I am blessed because this happens in my house.  Just not very often with all five of us together.  And I do make very healthy meals frequently.  However, when God gives me a horrible winter storm and my entire family together I choose to make comfort food.  So there was nothing consumed at that table last night that would have been 24 Day Challenge friendly.  Our menu: pork roast, garlic mashed potatoes (yes home made with butter and milk), and broccoli in cheese sauce (again home made with butter, milk, and cheddar cheese).  Freshly baked shamrock cookies with green icing.  And for hubby and I some wine.  It was delightful.  It was indulgent.  It did absolutely nothing to help me reach my health and fitness goals.  The odds are highly unlikely of ever having another surprise, unscheduled family day so a culinary splurge was ok.  Dinner was great but the talking and laughing was wonderful.

Every choice we make does lead us closer or farther from our goals.   This choice definitely took me a little away from some goals but it gave us a wonderful family memory.  That's a trade I am willing to make once in a while.  And since it was a conscious choice, I refuse to feel any guilt or remorse about it.  On normal, regular days, we need to make those memories without as many culinary indulgences so we can be alive and healthy enough to make wonderful family memories for decades to come.

Getting Ready for the Challenge

It's been a tough winter.   The weather has been crazy.  My Dad has been sick.  I have been helping my sister with a pretty major project.  My youngest is trying to find enough time to learn to drive around all this snow & ice.  My middle child is a senior so looking at colleges. My oldest is away at college.   We are implementing new curriculums at work.  And my go to comfort still involves consuming calories.  So now not only am I busy but now my pants are tight and I'm annoyed.

I will feel and sleep better if I get back to my healthy habits.  I have known for years that I deal with life more effectively if I am exercising regularly.   And I love the energy I have and how clear I think when I am exercising and eating healthy in addition to taking my Advocare supplements.  I need to reclaim my health & fitness goals and the best way I have found is with the Advocare 24 Day Challenge.  I know if I commit to this and really rock it, I will be down 10-15 pounds in 3 1/2 weeks!!!  I'll lose fat, gain muscle so obviously lose inches.

My husband is joining me on this and I AM PUMPED!!  I know we'll reset our metabolisms.  We'll get back to our healthier habits.  And we are going to feel absolutely amazing.

So what is this 24 Day Challenge?  And how is it different from the other things out there?

It's two two separate phases: the cleanse phase and the max phase.  Let me explain what each is:

Cleanse Phase-- don't be afraid of this.  It's a gentle cleanse that will remove the toxins from your body while you continue to work, workout, go to your kids' events, and keep living your life. The goal is to eat really clean on this phase.  You WILL Eat food.  Lots of real, whole, yummy food.  Like every 3 hours or so.  And in a few days in you'll realize that your cravings for the "comfort" foods & beverages have faded.

Max Phase-- now that you've cleaned those toxins out and your digestive track has been cleaned up you are going to continue eating lots of good, healthy, whole food.  A bit more variety available than on the cleanse.  In addition to the food, you will be treating your body to the best nutritional supplements available.  And your body will thank you by reducing inflammation, increasing energy, and all around feeling good.

By the time I finished, I knew I was going to take these products for the rest of my life.  Mike & I are going to be starting in a couple of weeks.   Who wants to join us?  It's amazing but if for some reason you don't think it is (can't imagine that happening) there is a money back guarantee.

Check out our website:www.advocare.com/12085431
for more info or to order your own challenge.  I'll be with you every step of the way.