All Grown Up

As you know I have the privilege of being mom to 3. My baby is 17 and I am refusing to call him a young adult.  This has nothing to do with him or his maturity  (don't ask his siblings to verify that) but it is simply me digging my heels in and holding on to having a child still.  And it's also about me bucking the norms I see at work where too often 17 year old students and their families believe them to be grown and ready to make all their own decisions.  I can assure you that this often does not work out for the best.  So my 17 year old is still my child, my baby.  He has to let me know where he is, what he is doing at any time I ask or whenever the situation changes.  And yes this insistence gets me teased by all three kids. We laugh about it and yet it continues.   I'm Irish and German, if I am anything it is stubborn.

My 19 year old is half way through his first year of college.  He has successfully completed a semester of college classes while living out of state, playing football and working 8 hours a week.  However, I still think of him as my little boy. But we were on campus with him for his football banquet last night and it occurred to me on multiple occasions that he truly had grown up.  He's always been good about holding doors so while I appreciate it, I have come to expect it.    But while surrounded by coaches, teammates, and their families he voluntarily took my purse so I could hand my coat to my husband to take to the coat room.  He didn't even flinch.  At the end of the banquet, he looks at me and tells me that you and Dad have to get on the road before it gets any later.  While walking us to the car, I made a mom comment about something and he said, "I know, I live here."   It was such a strange mixture of a knife stabbing my heart and pride at the young man he's becoming.  When I told him that sounds strange to me, he agreed.  However, there were enough silly comments and laughter among his teammates through the night to remind me that my little boy is still in there and having fun is still a top priority.  

Then there is my daughter.  She is 21 so really there is no getting around whether or not she's an adult.  I spent the year she was 20 adjusting to that fact. Because really once you are past your teens, it's hard even for a mom to insist that you are not a young adult.  At 21 it's impossible.  But being a legal adult and truly being a grown up are two entirely different things.  She is in the process of applying for athletic training internships (say a prayer that she gets the one she just applied for please) and looking at graduate schools.  I am lucky enough to be asked to read essays that she writes for her applications.  I consider it a blessing just to be consulted in these things at this point in her life.  But I am so impressed by what I read.  Her insight and self-knowledge is beyond her years.  I am humbled and grateful when I read paragraphs about her growing up years.  I am amazed by the goals she has and the plans she is making to achieve those goals.   She is on track to make her dreams come true.  She knows what needs to be done, she knows it's up to her to work her tail off, push herself out of her comfort zone, and go after those dreams.   Yes, this one is a grown up, an amazingly beautiful person, and an excellent role model for her brothers. There is no denying that this young woman is a grown up.  I am proud to be her mother and now I am even prouder to call her my friend.  

The transition from 17 to 21 is a difficult one even if it is peaceful and without a lot of confrontation.  It is hard to go from child to adult.  It is hard to go from parenting a child to being a parent to an adult.  It is fun and interesting and always a unique experience.  It's a challenge and a rite of passage for all involved but one that is so worth the journey.