Empty Nesting

"How's that empty nest?"  or "It's back to just the two of you again."  or any of a number of variations on that theme. Those are the comments we hear these days when we're out and we run into friends.  It's crazy how fast that parenting season of life went.  I saw a neighbor, whose son was a boyhood friend of my middle child, and chatted for a bit catching up on how everyone is doing.  We ended the conversation with her saying hard to believe that just like that 20 years are gone.  Yep.  It happens like that.  So fast.

But you know what?  Just like I wouldn't want to go back to middle school or high school or college, I wouldn't want to go back to parenting babies or toddlers or grade schoolers or high schoolers again.  I did love it but it was hard work.  There were hours and hours of driving, cooking, shopping, trying to divert a stubborn toddler's attention,  planning class parties, sitting in bleachers, anniversaries spent at 2 day swimming championships, birthdays spent at football games.  I wouldn't trade the experience but I wouldn't go back.  

How different it is volunteering for my parish when it doesn't involve a sports team or a class or anyone else in my family.  There's a new freedom that comes from only having to think of the two of us at dinner or in the grocery store.  I have some time now to spend on me and figuring out what this new chapter will hold for me.  I can spend time chatting with my husband or we can both just sit and read and drink a cup of tea.  I actually have time to think and I'm not so busy that I am just on autopilot getting through the day, week, month. 

It's fun spending time with these young adults that my children have become.  I smile when I get their texts.  Just as I always have, I am learning all sorts of things through them.  I get an inside look at their hopes and dreams and hurts and disappointments.  I love talking on the phone about everything and nothing.  I'm aware that often I am a study break and it probably feels less indulgent to call your mom than watch Netflicks.  But I'll take it, enjoy it, and treasure this new stage of life for us.  

And while I am enjoying the peace and quiet and some well earned "me time",  I'm thankful that they still want our input even if they don't always heed our advice.  And I am very thankful and probably happiest when every couple of months I have my busy, loud, food vanishing house back.  I love walking in the front hall and seeing a pile of shoes by the front door.  And I think I will always be sad when those breaks end and I wave good-bye to each child as they head back to their own life.  But hopefully, I've learned to just be present, to enjoy the unique blessings and lessons that each season of life offers.  And to look forward with anticipation and faith to the future.  

Snow Day

Yesterday we were hit with a crazy winter storm.  Heavy rain in the morning that turned to frozen precipitating stuff and then finally all snow.  It was a horrible storm that sadly claimed lives.  But in my little world it was a gift from God.  Why would a winter storm, appropriately named Vulcan, be a gift you ask.    My college girl & oldest child is home on break.  Technically spring break but that just doesn't seem right.  My husband and I both teach high school.  And my boys go to the same school where my husband teaches. And all of us were home because of the storm.  Nothing in this world makes me as happy as all five of us being together.  I had an entire, unscheduled day with all three of my kids & my husband.  Gift!

I got to sleep until 7:15 and then went to work.  Cleaning, laundry, Advocare: check.  Such a feeling of accomplishment to spend some time catching up.

Being in my kitchen with my hubby or one of the kids sitting at the counter while I cook or bake equals happiness for me.  I love cooking & baking. And I adore making a meal for my family then sitting and eating and talking and laughing together.  I am blessed because this happens in my house.  Just not very often with all five of us together.  And I do make very healthy meals frequently.  However, when God gives me a horrible winter storm and my entire family together I choose to make comfort food.  So there was nothing consumed at that table last night that would have been 24 Day Challenge friendly.  Our menu: pork roast, garlic mashed potatoes (yes home made with butter and milk), and broccoli in cheese sauce (again home made with butter, milk, and cheddar cheese).  Freshly baked shamrock cookies with green icing.  And for hubby and I some wine.  It was delightful.  It was indulgent.  It did absolutely nothing to help me reach my health and fitness goals.  The odds are highly unlikely of ever having another surprise, unscheduled family day so a culinary splurge was ok.  Dinner was great but the talking and laughing was wonderful.

Every choice we make does lead us closer or farther from our goals.   This choice definitely took me a little away from some goals but it gave us a wonderful family memory.  That's a trade I am willing to make once in a while.  And since it was a conscious choice, I refuse to feel any guilt or remorse about it.  On normal, regular days, we need to make those memories without as many culinary indulgences so we can be alive and healthy enough to make wonderful family memories for decades to come.