Be Yourself... A must have for the Catholic tween or teen girl

There's a fourth grader with a heart of gold who has a big birthday coming up.  I wanted to get something as special as she is and something that would help maintain the love and compassion that define her.  I was intrigued when I heard about Amy Brook's book:  Be Yourself! a journal for catholic girls  I enjoy Amy's writing and how down to earth she is and was confident in her staying true to the faith so it warranted a closer look.  And.This.Book.Did.Not.Disappoint! WOW.

I've read so many things that aren't faithful to the teachings of the church that I always check for an Imprimatur.  Yep it's right there but I was also pleasantly surprised to see that the Imprimatur was immediately below the Nihil obstat.  For those of you who aren't quite as much of a geek as I am, those mean that nothing in the book is objectionable by way of the Catholic Church.  I was so excited to see that!

So I'm good knowing the content is in line with Church teaching but I really want this to be something that will be helpful navigating this tumultuous time.  If it's going to helpful, she has to want to use it and the cover is bright and whimsical and engaging and just leads you to open the cover and discover what's inside.  Once inside, Amy uses a fun font and her warm tone to write the introduction that reads more like a personal letter to the specific girl who is reading it.  Amy refers to her own efforts to understand what "Be Yourself" meant to her as a young woman and explains how deepening your own relationship with God will lead to knowing how to "Be Yourself". And she manages to do it in an open and engaging way that isn't too preachy or teachy and this sets the tone for the entire journal.

The font throughout the book is fun, the black and white with just enough color is perfect to encourage coloring, drawing or doodling.  It has pages to be colored but also pages that are mostly fill in the blank.  The fill in the blank pages are straight forward but lead to really going deeper than you realized.  One list page I thought was simply age appropriate fun was listing favorite celebrities, but then I read the next page and it was a prayer for each of them!! What a great idea to encourage praying for people we admire.  Such a simple yet powerful way to plant the seed that we can (and should) pray for everyone.

Faith, peace, patience, love, hope, feelings, gratitude, forgiveness as well as prayer and relating to Jesus and God.  And everything is so interactive!  Quotes from scripture and the catechism are interspersed with six Saint Spotlights highlighting women who had good days and bad days while learning to live holy lives.  Throughout the journaler is gently led to discover more and more about herself, her world, her relationships and especially her friendship with God by filling in lists, writing, creating, drawing, or simply coloring.  

In case you aren't sure yet, I absolutely love this journal!  There really is nothing that I don't like about it.  It's a nice size not too long but not too short.  So much to learn and discover but not overwhelming.  A bonus is I think this journal could be used for quite a span of ages.  Amy Brooks' Be Yourself! a journal for catholic girls will make a great gift for any tween or teen girl on your list!
To help you check off a gift or two here's a link to purchase the book on Amazon:Shop Amazon for Be Yourself! a journal for catholic girls

Because there always have been

A little over a year ago, when yet another horrible headline was released like so many other American Catholics I was shaken to the core.  I was angry and hurt that men who had made their way to the hierarchy of my beloved Mother Church could have misused and abused their positions to misuse and abuse people they were supposed to be shepherding.  I was so angry and even angrier because they didn't seem to understand the damage done to the trust among those of us in the pews.

During a car ride when I read yet one more post or article, I shared with my emotions with my captive family.  My children are all in their 20's so I was comfortable with this sharing.  My youngest child was about to enter his third year of minor seminary.  He tried to tell me that the church had survived other scandals.  I couldn't even stand to listen at that point and was convinced this was the absolutely worst thing ever to happen in the church.

But as the weeks went by, I chose to stay as committed to my faith as always.  As I heard repeatedly and came to accept for myself: you don't leave Jesus because of Judas.  So I started an Avila group in my parish to pray for vocations.  We pray for grace and strength for existing vocations and for an increase in vocations. And I have kept studying and learning more about the faith. I have listened to some interesting and informative speakers.

During this prayer and study, one thing has become so obvious to me.  There is scandal, because there has always been.  There is crisis, because there has always been.  There are heretics, because there have always been.  And the Church is "dying" just like it has been since the middle ages.  I don't know why I allow myself to get so upset about it.  Not that it's in any way acceptable because it's not.  But the Catholic Church is the Church that Jesus founded.  It's the earthly home of the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Our Lord Jesus Christ.  Since that's true, it is obviously going to be Satan's biggest target.  Satan will work tirelessly to harm the church and he will do whatever he can to ruin as many souls as possible.  It makes sense then that the hierarchy and seminaries have been a favorite target for the evil one.

So yes, my son was right and I should have listened to him.  The Church is in the midst of a challenging time but she's been here before and probably will be again. A year ago in my frustration, anger, and pain I forgot to step back and remember what Jesus promises. Our time on earth is going to be difficult and often painful but in Heaven all will be good.  Until then we have this promise:  “You are Peter, and on this rock I will build my Church, and the gates of hell will not prevail against it” (Matt. 16:18).

Faith gets a Reality Check

The power of the Holy Spirit is evident in scripture and in the miracles, big and small, that we see and read about everyday.  But do we really believe in this immense power in our everyday lives?   Do we really believe that the Holy Spirit has the power to transform ANYTHING? 

I have a fairly strong and consistent faith.  Most times if I were asked that question about the Holy Spirit transforming anything, I wouldn't hesitate to answer affirmatively.  I would say absolutely and cite time after time when God, working as the Holy Spirit, has blessed me or my family.  I would have a false sense of confidence in that belief.

Because today as I sit here writing this I am feeling like I was kicked in the stomach.  I got an answer to prayer that was under no circumstances the answer that I wanted or that I thought was warranted or in anyway deserved.  I am hurt and I am angry.  And me, on my own high horse,  think these feelings are quite justified.  Feelings are just feelings and how you feel isn't right or wrong.  Or is it?

Getting the initial news was a shock so those knee jerk feelings, I believe, are just that.  However, if I truly believe that the Holy Spirit can transform anything then I would calm down and actually pray.  I would stop my interior two year old temper tantrum that I have been feeding since that initial sting wore off.   And I would ask the Holy Spirit into my heart.  I would allow the healing and love of the Spirit to transform me and return my calm and confidence and faith.  I would allow this healing to help me to remember that God, working through the Holy Spirit, has led me through tougher trials than this.  I would remember that God's plan is always for the best. I would accept this answered prayer in the same way I do when I get the answer I want.

Believing in the grandeur of the Holy Spirit is believing as strongly on a chilly, gray, rainy June day when disappointing news shows up as you do on a beautiful, sunny day when every is being answered exactly as I wish.  Our Advocate, sent from God, is with me and guiding me in all situations.  The situations that my limited human mind and heart can't understand are precisely the times when I need to remember and trust in that amazing power of the Holy Spirit.

In the Name...

When many of us read the title of this post, we may just automatically finish with "of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit".  It's one of the first things that Catholic families teach their children.  I love watching parents crossing their children and little ones crossing themselves the first few times.  These acts make me smile.  I love seeing the little ones treasure something that has become so automatic for me. 


Our parish recently did some adult education on the mass using the Word on Fire DVD series featuring Bishop Barron and then included some small and large group discussion.  I had no idea I had so much to learn until I did this course.  One of the topics that the Bishop talked about was the Sign of the Cross and what a powerful prayer it is.   When we make the Sign of the Cross, we are claiming ourselves for Jesus.  I have looked at this special and important prayer differently since then.

After that lesson, I paid more attention when signing myself, realizing what I was really doing.  I thought I had come to an awareness that was as significant as it would be.  But then I watched a gentleman in church sign himself and I gained a whole new appreciation.  This gentleman was a daily communicant and a fixture at our parish.  Always helping, always smiling.  Then he suffered two major strokes on the same day.  It was a serious situation and from what I understand it was touch and go for a while.  It took every ounce of faith, hope, love, and strength that he and his wife had to get through those trying months.  The rehab continues and his improvement is totally amazing.  But what made me stop in my tracks was the beginning of his first mass back, I looked on as he used every bit of focus and determination he had in him to make a sign of the cross.  The importance that he placed on praying this prayer with the rest of the congregation humbled me.  In his example, I really learned what it meant to truly appreciate this simple prayer.  After everything he had been through and the long road he knew was still ahead, this man was truly claiming himself and offering himself to his Lord and Savoir.

So often we are surrounded by extraordinary examples of faith and we aren't open enough to see and appreciate them.  I'm thankful that I noticed this incredible act.  It's an example and a lesson that I treasure.  I hope it's one that I continue to ponder in my heart.  

Michaela's Miracle

The idea for this post came to me the other morning on my way to work.  It was May 13, the Feast of Our Lady of Fatima.  I was listening to a radio segment about the apparitions in Fatima and how it was to three children that Our Lady chose to appear and share her message.  The thought of Mary appearing to children led me to think of Jesus telling us we needed to have the faith of a child.  And that led me to think of when my own children were young and how often we learned lessons from them.  These thoughts reminded me of Michaela's Miracle and that I should share it.

My mom had a very difficult life with many, many health issues dating back to her early childhood days.   Possibly because of the challenges her health created, she was a woman of incredible faith with a strong devotion and love for our Blessed Mother.  Her faith and her grandchildren were two of her greatest blessings.  My daughter, Michaela, was particularly close to her Granma.  They talked on the phone for hours, always sat next to each other at meals, cuddled and read together, and often went to adoration together.  Mom shared what she loved most with the people she loved most. 

When Michaela was just 7, her dear Granma took a terrible turn for the worse.  We were on vacation and got to the hotel for the night and there were 4 phone messages waiting for me.  I called my dad to find out that my mom was in ICU.  She wasn't in our regular local hospital, they had immediately transferred her to the regional trauma hospital.  The specialists there said that there was nothing they could do and told my dad to call the family since it would probably be just a day or two. 

My husband and I had the horrendous task of telling our 3, 5, and 7 year old children that they weren't going to see Mickey the next day but also that their beloved Granma was on her way to heaven.   We decided that I would fly home as soon as I could get a flight and my husband would drive home with the kids. Since this was in the very early 2000's, buying plane tickets online was not something that everyone could do.  Thankfully, one of my dearest friends & her husband have always been amazing with technology.  In just a couple of hours I had a ticket home from the nearest airport and for a great price.

The next couple of days were a whirl wind of travel, seeing my mom who was comatose and spending time with Dad, my brothers, and sister.  It was surreal.  I was often on phone duty at my parents house, keeping distant family and friends updated with the situation.  I remember telling a cousin that it was only a matter of time and there was virtually no hope when Michaela interrupted me.  Here's the conversation that followed:
Me (impatiently): What Michaela? 
Michaela:  Is Granma still alive?
Me: Yes, right now she is but not for long.
Michaela: So she is alive?
Me(even more impatient): Yes.
Michaela: So if God wants her to live, then she will live, right?
Me (completely humbled): Yes, exactly Sweetie.  If God wants her to live, she will live.
Michaela: So I can ask God to let her live?
Me (amazed and proud of her, a bit embarrassed by my lack of faith): Yes, Sweetie. 

I shared that conversation with my dad and my husband.  My dad paused and said that's how we are supposed to have faith like children.  I agreed.  Within days, the doctors were seeing so much progress that they reran the exact tests that told them there was no hope.  There was so much improvement that they said recovery was possible.  They also shared that she shouldn't have been able to recover and there was no medical reason for it.  Dad just smiled and said we'll call it Michaela's Miracle. 

It was a long tough journey that took many months.  Mom was in and out of the hospital and rehabs multiple times.  When she was finally well enough to get out of the house, her first outing was to Michaela's First Communion. 

Just Because Mom Asked

I may have mentioned on here once or twice that I have amazing kids.   My husband and I have always worked hard but we realize that we are truly blessed.  Our kids (technically adult children) are making us seem like we knew what we were doing.  As awesome as my family is, I find myself picking up papers, dishes, or socks (yes really!).  Or doing various other odd jobs around the house or yard that I swear I asked someone to do.  Nothing earth shattering, just annoying things. And I know if I truly NEED help, my family is right there and I have 100% confidence in them.  But every now and then it's frustrating and just because Mom asked should be enough of a reason to do something.

This morning on my drive into work, I was listening to Teresa Tomeo interview Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle on my local Catholic radio station.  Donna-Marie is the author of a book on the apparitions of Our Lady at Fatima.  It was an interesting conversation.  I grew up loving the Blessed Lady because my mom really had a relationship with her, she loved her as a mother and a role model.  Mom taught me very early that Mama Mary is such a wonderful model for us. 

There is a connection here. When discussing Fatima, the conversation has to include the instructions Mary gave the children.  Mary, as our heavenly mother,  has a love and concern for us that we can't begin to understand.  Mary has repeatedly asked us to pray the rosary and make sacrifices to help bring peace and the conversion of sinners.  As I got off the freeway and approached the parking lot, it literally hit me.  Like right between the eyes.  I am just like my kids!!!

I could almost hear Mary talking to her closest girlfriends.  "Mary Ellen is a great kid.  Really in all the big things she's doing well.  But honestly, you'd think she could do a couple little things just because I asked her! I mean I'm her Mom and just because Mom asked should be enough." 

I am a good person and I offer my time, talent, and treasure fairly regularly, but I am a work in progress. I love going to mass and am grateful for all the sacraments.   But so very often, I find myself busy about nothing important and end up missing an opportunity for confession or adoration or I get distracted and end up not saying the rosary that I purposely sat down to say.  So just like my kids, I mean to do all the things, little and big, that my Mom has asked me to do but somehow the days get busy and I don't make it happen.

I'm going to end here and go take advantage of this Advent season to do some of the things Mama Mary asked me to do.  After all, just because Mom asked should be reason enough.

Life's challenges bring growth

This morning when I opened Facebook the first thing that popped up was a memory from 4 years ago.  It was a picture of my middle child, oldest son, the summer after high school graduation.  I smiled as I looked at that sweet, happy 18 year old and thought about the journey our family has traveled since that picture was taken.

That day he had 3 living grandparents.  They were all living independently, driving, involved in various volunteer projects, going to church, meeting friends for lunch or dinner, going to plays.  We would need to call and be sure that they were going to be home if we wanted to come by to visit and if we invited them over, it was possible that they couldn't come because they already had plans.

As I write this post, only one grandparent is still here with us.  We never have to call to see if he's available because he lives in a memory care unit now.  He still has a smile that lights up his face when the kids come to visit but he needs to be awake and calm for us to see that.  It's a tough road to travel with a loved one and sadly, there are many families on similar roads.

But there are those who think that people shouldn't have to travel these types of journeys.  That there is no dignity in living like this.  From my perspective, I couldn't disagree more.  It's through times of challenge that we grow and become better.

A pianist doesn't improve by playing the same exact song, notes or chords.  The improvement comes through continually attempting more difficult pieces.  A pole vaulter doesn't reach new heights by staying with the same pole, exact same form or technique.

Isn't building character and ability the reason that we sign our kids up for piano, dance, swimming, karate?  Kids that participate in almost anything learn that just because you fail in the beginning, doesn't mean you will always fail.  Sometimes it all comes together and you get it.  But sometimes it never does all come together and you learn that isn't your activity.  And sometimes that hurts and that stinks but it's all part of life.  When we try and fail we learn and grow.  And when we have the opportunity to grow beyond our frustrations and failures, then we develop resilience.  And when we are resilient, we are stronger and better prepared for life.

The same is true when we are presented the opportunity to journey with a friend or family member who is suffering.  It's not pretty.  It can be sad or frustrating or scary. It could be a time of anger or frustration with God. Or it can be a time of growing closer to God and your loved one.  Our responses to the situation will be as numerous as the people in those situations.  And really way beyond that number because from day to day our individual responses can change.  And that's all OK because it's an exhausting, humbling, sometimes frightening journey.  Just like every other area of our lives, when we meet these challenges head on, we see growth.  A religious or spiritual person will likely find growth in the spiritual life when presented with the opportunity to accompany someone on this journey.  But I think anyone will find an increase in empathy and compassion.  These experiences can make you realize that being kind is a better option because you just never really know what someone else is going through.