I may have mentioned on here once or twice that I have amazing kids. My husband and I have always worked hard but we realize that we are truly blessed. Our kids (technically adult children) are making us seem like we knew what we were doing. As awesome as my family is, I find myself picking up papers, dishes, or socks (yes really!). Or doing various other odd jobs around the house or yard that I swear I asked someone to do. Nothing earth shattering, just annoying things. And I know if I truly NEED help, my family is right there and I have 100% confidence in them. But every now and then it's frustrating and just because Mom asked should be enough of a reason to do something.
This morning on my drive into work, I was listening to Teresa Tomeo interview Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle on my local Catholic radio station. Donna-Marie is the author of a book on the apparitions of Our Lady at Fatima. It was an interesting conversation. I grew up loving the Blessed Lady because my mom really had a relationship with her, she loved her as a mother and a role model. Mom taught me very early that Mama Mary is such a wonderful model for us.
There is a connection here. When discussing Fatima, the conversation has to include the instructions Mary gave the children. Mary, as our heavenly mother, has a love and concern for us that we can't begin to understand. Mary has repeatedly asked us to pray the rosary and make sacrifices to help bring peace and the conversion of sinners. As I got off the freeway and approached the parking lot, it literally hit me. Like right between the eyes. I am just like my kids!!!
I could almost hear Mary talking to her closest girlfriends. "Mary Ellen is a great kid. Really in all the big things she's doing well. But honestly, you'd think she could do a couple little things just because I asked her! I mean I'm her Mom and just because Mom asked should be enough."
I am a good person and I offer my time, talent, and treasure fairly regularly, but I am a work in progress. I love going to mass and am grateful for all the sacraments. But so very often, I find myself busy about nothing important and end up missing an opportunity for confession or adoration or I get distracted and end up not saying the rosary that I purposely sat down to say. So just like my kids, I mean to do all the things, little and big, that my Mom has asked me to do but somehow the days get busy and I don't make it happen.
I'm going to end here and go take advantage of this Advent season to do some of the things Mama Mary asked me to do. After all, just because Mom asked should be reason enough.
Friday, December 7, 2018
Friday, July 6, 2018
Life's challenges bring growth
This morning when I opened Facebook the first thing that popped up was a memory from 4 years ago. It was a picture of my middle child, oldest son, the summer after high school graduation. I smiled as I looked at that sweet, happy 18 year old and thought about the journey our family has traveled since that picture was taken.
That day he had 3 living grandparents. They were all living independently, driving, involved in various volunteer projects, going to church, meeting friends for lunch or dinner, going to plays. We would need to call and be sure that they were going to be home if we wanted to come by to visit and if we invited them over, it was possible that they couldn't come because they already had plans.
As I write this post, only one grandparent is still here with us. We never have to call to see if he's available because he lives in a memory care unit now. He still has a smile that lights up his face when the kids come to visit but he needs to be awake and calm for us to see that. It's a tough road to travel with a loved one and sadly, there are many families on similar roads.
But there are those who think that people shouldn't have to travel these types of journeys. That there is no dignity in living like this. From my perspective, I couldn't disagree more. It's through times of challenge that we grow and become better.
A pianist doesn't improve by playing the same exact song, notes or chords. The improvement comes through continually attempting more difficult pieces. A pole vaulter doesn't reach new heights by staying with the same pole, exact same form or technique.
Isn't building character and ability the reason that we sign our kids up for piano, dance, swimming, karate? Kids that participate in almost anything learn that just because you fail in the beginning, doesn't mean you will always fail. Sometimes it all comes together and you get it. But sometimes it never does all come together and you learn that isn't your activity. And sometimes that hurts and that stinks but it's all part of life. When we try and fail we learn and grow. And when we have the opportunity to grow beyond our frustrations and failures, then we develop resilience. And when we are resilient, we are stronger and better prepared for life.
The same is true when we are presented the opportunity to journey with a friend or family member who is suffering. It's not pretty. It can be sad or frustrating or scary. It could be a time of anger or frustration with God. Or it can be a time of growing closer to God and your loved one. Our responses to the situation will be as numerous as the people in those situations. And really way beyond that number because from day to day our individual responses can change. And that's all OK because it's an exhausting, humbling, sometimes frightening journey. Just like every other area of our lives, when we meet these challenges head on, we see growth. A religious or spiritual person will likely find growth in the spiritual life when presented with the opportunity to accompany someone on this journey. But I think anyone will find an increase in empathy and compassion. These experiences can make you realize that being kind is a better option because you just never really know what someone else is going through.
That day he had 3 living grandparents. They were all living independently, driving, involved in various volunteer projects, going to church, meeting friends for lunch or dinner, going to plays. We would need to call and be sure that they were going to be home if we wanted to come by to visit and if we invited them over, it was possible that they couldn't come because they already had plans.
As I write this post, only one grandparent is still here with us. We never have to call to see if he's available because he lives in a memory care unit now. He still has a smile that lights up his face when the kids come to visit but he needs to be awake and calm for us to see that. It's a tough road to travel with a loved one and sadly, there are many families on similar roads.
But there are those who think that people shouldn't have to travel these types of journeys. That there is no dignity in living like this. From my perspective, I couldn't disagree more. It's through times of challenge that we grow and become better.
A pianist doesn't improve by playing the same exact song, notes or chords. The improvement comes through continually attempting more difficult pieces. A pole vaulter doesn't reach new heights by staying with the same pole, exact same form or technique.
Isn't building character and ability the reason that we sign our kids up for piano, dance, swimming, karate? Kids that participate in almost anything learn that just because you fail in the beginning, doesn't mean you will always fail. Sometimes it all comes together and you get it. But sometimes it never does all come together and you learn that isn't your activity. And sometimes that hurts and that stinks but it's all part of life. When we try and fail we learn and grow. And when we have the opportunity to grow beyond our frustrations and failures, then we develop resilience. And when we are resilient, we are stronger and better prepared for life.
The same is true when we are presented the opportunity to journey with a friend or family member who is suffering. It's not pretty. It can be sad or frustrating or scary. It could be a time of anger or frustration with God. Or it can be a time of growing closer to God and your loved one. Our responses to the situation will be as numerous as the people in those situations. And really way beyond that number because from day to day our individual responses can change. And that's all OK because it's an exhausting, humbling, sometimes frightening journey. Just like every other area of our lives, when we meet these challenges head on, we see growth. A religious or spiritual person will likely find growth in the spiritual life when presented with the opportunity to accompany someone on this journey. But I think anyone will find an increase in empathy and compassion. These experiences can make you realize that being kind is a better option because you just never really know what someone else is going through.
Wednesday, February 14, 2018
A Lenten Challenge
WOW! It has been almost one year since my last post. I have to admit that I did try to get another blog going on another site with a slightly different focus but that didn't work out like I had planned so I'm back here for a while. And I have to admit, that it does kind of feel like coming home.
So it's Ash Wednesday and all of Catholic media, social and otherwise, is buzzing with Lenten devotions and journeys and readings and ideas. My email account and timeline are brimming with ideas for this season of preparation. If I honestly look at my journal and think about all the reading and learning and reflecting that I want to do this lent, I need to go to a dessert for the 40 days and do nothing else. I am super excited about continuing the ladies bible study at my parish, Loyola Press' Living Lent, Best Lent Ever from Dynamic Catholic, and the online book club with WINE (Women in the New Evangelization). I am attempting to do all of these and do them well. Plus, I do love going to daily mass 2 or 3 times a week and I don't think Lent is the season to cut back on that. So if I am really going to stick to this, I will be automatically cutting back on social media and watching TV.
Don't worry, my challenge for you has nothing to do with being as overzealous with Lenten practices as I am. My challenge comes from a conversation I had with a woman who is a fairly new Catholic. This woman, who happens to be African American, truly blessed me this afternoon and without knowing it challenged me to rethink all of my Lenten ambitions. The two of us were chatting about something completely separate and she mentioned her Catholic Faith. I shared that that was something we had in common. She had grown up in predominately black, bible churches. But she shared it wasn't in the music or clapping or preaching that the Spirit found her and won her heart. It was in a predominately white, Roman Catholic church that the Holy Spirit spoke to her and she told me, it was just so different. She looked at me at that point and asked if I knew why. She was so honestly passionate about it that I didn't want to interrupt her, she continued and said, "It is the Eucharist! It's..." and I filled in "the body, blood, soul, and divinity of our Lord". And at that point she apologized because she was in tears and had to sit and pause for a moment. When she composed herself a bit, she told me that she had just been confirmed in 2016 and it was still so new and so overwhelming and beautiful to have such a gift. Her reverence and love was so inspiring. We spoke for a few more minutes, but then we both had to get on with our days.
Throughout the rest of the day, my mind (and heart) kept going back to the amazement and joy in my new friend's eyes. And it made me think about my daughter when she was in first grade and couldn't wait to make her First Communion because then she would be able to receive Jesus. Then it made me think about my son the first time he told me he thought he had a vocation to the priesthood and he said "Mom, think about the joy on Fr. Bob's face (my uncle). Who wouldn't want that joy?" (Disclaimer, my son denies that this was a real vocation conversation b/c he was only about 6 but I'm counting it). Hopefully, most of us have had the experience of sharing a First Communion day with a second grader who was just so excited about finally being able to join the community at the table of the Eucharist. And the conversation and these thoughts bring me to my challenge.
I want to go into Holy Thursday and the Triduum with the awe and reverence that my friend had today. I want to use these devotions and reflections as a way to learn and grow closer to Jesus. I want to learn so that my faith and wonder will grow to appreciate even more His love and sacrifice for me. I'm challenging myself and you to use this time to fall in love again with the Eucharist, the greatest gift any of us will ever receive.
So it's Ash Wednesday and all of Catholic media, social and otherwise, is buzzing with Lenten devotions and journeys and readings and ideas. My email account and timeline are brimming with ideas for this season of preparation. If I honestly look at my journal and think about all the reading and learning and reflecting that I want to do this lent, I need to go to a dessert for the 40 days and do nothing else. I am super excited about continuing the ladies bible study at my parish, Loyola Press' Living Lent, Best Lent Ever from Dynamic Catholic, and the online book club with WINE (Women in the New Evangelization). I am attempting to do all of these and do them well. Plus, I do love going to daily mass 2 or 3 times a week and I don't think Lent is the season to cut back on that. So if I am really going to stick to this, I will be automatically cutting back on social media and watching TV.
Don't worry, my challenge for you has nothing to do with being as overzealous with Lenten practices as I am. My challenge comes from a conversation I had with a woman who is a fairly new Catholic. This woman, who happens to be African American, truly blessed me this afternoon and without knowing it challenged me to rethink all of my Lenten ambitions. The two of us were chatting about something completely separate and she mentioned her Catholic Faith. I shared that that was something we had in common. She had grown up in predominately black, bible churches. But she shared it wasn't in the music or clapping or preaching that the Spirit found her and won her heart. It was in a predominately white, Roman Catholic church that the Holy Spirit spoke to her and she told me, it was just so different. She looked at me at that point and asked if I knew why. She was so honestly passionate about it that I didn't want to interrupt her, she continued and said, "It is the Eucharist! It's..." and I filled in "the body, blood, soul, and divinity of our Lord". And at that point she apologized because she was in tears and had to sit and pause for a moment. When she composed herself a bit, she told me that she had just been confirmed in 2016 and it was still so new and so overwhelming and beautiful to have such a gift. Her reverence and love was so inspiring. We spoke for a few more minutes, but then we both had to get on with our days.
Throughout the rest of the day, my mind (and heart) kept going back to the amazement and joy in my new friend's eyes. And it made me think about my daughter when she was in first grade and couldn't wait to make her First Communion because then she would be able to receive Jesus. Then it made me think about my son the first time he told me he thought he had a vocation to the priesthood and he said "Mom, think about the joy on Fr. Bob's face (my uncle). Who wouldn't want that joy?" (Disclaimer, my son denies that this was a real vocation conversation b/c he was only about 6 but I'm counting it). Hopefully, most of us have had the experience of sharing a First Communion day with a second grader who was just so excited about finally being able to join the community at the table of the Eucharist. And the conversation and these thoughts bring me to my challenge.
I want to go into Holy Thursday and the Triduum with the awe and reverence that my friend had today. I want to use these devotions and reflections as a way to learn and grow closer to Jesus. I want to learn so that my faith and wonder will grow to appreciate even more His love and sacrifice for me. I'm challenging myself and you to use this time to fall in love again with the Eucharist, the greatest gift any of us will ever receive.
Monday, February 27, 2017
Empty Nesting
"How's that empty nest?" or "It's back to just the two of you again." or any of a number of variations on that theme. Those are the comments we hear these days when we're out and we run into friends. It's crazy how fast that parenting season of life went. I saw a neighbor, whose son was a boyhood friend of my middle child, and chatted for a bit catching up on how everyone is doing. We ended the conversation with her saying hard to believe that just like that 20 years are gone. Yep. It happens like that. So fast.
But you know what? Just like I wouldn't want to go back to middle school or high school or college, I wouldn't want to go back to parenting babies or toddlers or grade schoolers or high schoolers again. I did love it but it was hard work. There were hours and hours of driving, cooking, shopping, trying to divert a stubborn toddler's attention, planning class parties, sitting in bleachers, anniversaries spent at 2 day swimming championships, birthdays spent at football games. I wouldn't trade the experience but I wouldn't go back.
How different it is volunteering for my parish when it doesn't involve a sports team or a class or anyone else in my family. There's a new freedom that comes from only having to think of the two of us at dinner or in the grocery store. I have some time now to spend on me and figuring out what this new chapter will hold for me. I can spend time chatting with my husband or we can both just sit and read and drink a cup of tea. I actually have time to think and I'm not so busy that I am just on autopilot getting through the day, week, month.
It's fun spending time with these young adults that my children have become. I smile when I get their texts. Just as I always have, I am learning all sorts of things through them. I get an inside look at their hopes and dreams and hurts and disappointments. I love talking on the phone about everything and nothing. I'm aware that often I am a study break and it probably feels less indulgent to call your mom than watch Netflicks. But I'll take it, enjoy it, and treasure this new stage of life for us.
And while I am enjoying the peace and quiet and some well earned "me time", I'm thankful that they still want our input even if they don't always heed our advice. And I am very thankful and probably happiest when every couple of months I have my busy, loud, food vanishing house back. I love walking in the front hall and seeing a pile of shoes by the front door. And I think I will always be sad when those breaks end and I wave good-bye to each child as they head back to their own life. But hopefully, I've learned to just be present, to enjoy the unique blessings and lessons that each season of life offers. And to look forward with anticipation and faith to the future.
Tuesday, February 21, 2017
Continuing the Journey
Wow it's been over a month since I've posted! The journey is ongoing and as with everything in life some days and weeks are better than others. So here's a peek at what and how I'm doing.
December 26 was the day. Remember this prescription was a class project and it was due the end of November and my daughter wouldn't be home until Christmas break. That week before Christmas was busy so we decided to get started after Christmas. My daughter gave me the paper to read. The calculations didn't look any better when printed out in a neatly organized paper than they had when they were hand written in the lab. Well, you can't argue facts and I knew what was there were facts so I may as well face the facts and see what I could do about it. And besides the data that had been collected, I couldn't ignore the fact that I wasn't able to do what I wanted to be able to do. So I read or skimmed through all the background information and then got to the actual plan. My prescription to better physical wellness.
To accomplish my goals, which were converted to SMART goals, I would need to a two fold approach focusing on both cardio and strength training. I would do three days a week on cardio and three days a week on strength. Six days a week I spend between 45 minutes and an hour working out. The workouts were designed to use equipment that we have here at home so I can't use the excuse that I can't get to the gym. If I can walk down to the basement, I can do it. It is amazing the number of distractions I can find in those few short steps! Consistency is key but life gets in the way and more often than not, I get in my way.
The strength training right now is a basic total body workout. My core was exceptionally weak so there is a focus on that but I am working arms and legs, too. And getting a workout put together by someone who is truly educated is good because the workouts are balanced. So that means if I work on my quads, then I work on my hamstrings. Work on the biceps and work on the triceps. My goals are not to look good but to function as well as possible. I know that this plan will help me do that. As a bonus, I will look better because a strong, healthy body looks better than an overweight, out of shape body or even a skinny fat body.
I am happy to report that in the two months, I have made noticeable progress. I am able to do more weight or more reps on each of the strength training exercises. The speed and duration of my cardio workouts have both improved. I am noticing that my clothing is fitting better and I have lost 14 pounds since that weigh in during the initial assessment.
Walking steps in not a problem anymore. In fact, the other day I walked up a flight of steps carrying 2 toddlers and it was easy. And when I genuflected on Sunday, my knee touched the floor and didn't hurt!! I'm pleased that I don't have to limit what I do based on whether or not it's going to hurt. I am happy to start feeling more like myself. That is really the encouragement that I needed.
I have a long way to go before I am actually in shape and healthy but I am so much closer than I was six months ago. I continually need to refocus on eating healthy and not consume so many empty calories. Gradually, this is improving and I am more aware everyday that this is within my control. I need to schedule my workouts so that I don't run out of time during the day to get them in. I need to constantly work on moving from being interested in being healthy and in shape to being committed to be healthy and in shape. But each healthy choice I make moves me one step closer to my goals.
December 26 was the day. Remember this prescription was a class project and it was due the end of November and my daughter wouldn't be home until Christmas break. That week before Christmas was busy so we decided to get started after Christmas. My daughter gave me the paper to read. The calculations didn't look any better when printed out in a neatly organized paper than they had when they were hand written in the lab. Well, you can't argue facts and I knew what was there were facts so I may as well face the facts and see what I could do about it. And besides the data that had been collected, I couldn't ignore the fact that I wasn't able to do what I wanted to be able to do. So I read or skimmed through all the background information and then got to the actual plan. My prescription to better physical wellness.
To accomplish my goals, which were converted to SMART goals, I would need to a two fold approach focusing on both cardio and strength training. I would do three days a week on cardio and three days a week on strength. Six days a week I spend between 45 minutes and an hour working out. The workouts were designed to use equipment that we have here at home so I can't use the excuse that I can't get to the gym. If I can walk down to the basement, I can do it. It is amazing the number of distractions I can find in those few short steps! Consistency is key but life gets in the way and more often than not, I get in my way.
The strength training right now is a basic total body workout. My core was exceptionally weak so there is a focus on that but I am working arms and legs, too. And getting a workout put together by someone who is truly educated is good because the workouts are balanced. So that means if I work on my quads, then I work on my hamstrings. Work on the biceps and work on the triceps. My goals are not to look good but to function as well as possible. I know that this plan will help me do that. As a bonus, I will look better because a strong, healthy body looks better than an overweight, out of shape body or even a skinny fat body.
I am happy to report that in the two months, I have made noticeable progress. I am able to do more weight or more reps on each of the strength training exercises. The speed and duration of my cardio workouts have both improved. I am noticing that my clothing is fitting better and I have lost 14 pounds since that weigh in during the initial assessment.
Walking steps in not a problem anymore. In fact, the other day I walked up a flight of steps carrying 2 toddlers and it was easy. And when I genuflected on Sunday, my knee touched the floor and didn't hurt!! I'm pleased that I don't have to limit what I do based on whether or not it's going to hurt. I am happy to start feeling more like myself. That is really the encouragement that I needed.
I have a long way to go before I am actually in shape and healthy but I am so much closer than I was six months ago. I continually need to refocus on eating healthy and not consume so many empty calories. Gradually, this is improving and I am more aware everyday that this is within my control. I need to schedule my workouts so that I don't run out of time during the day to get them in. I need to constantly work on moving from being interested in being healthy and in shape to being committed to be healthy and in shape. But each healthy choice I make moves me one step closer to my goals.
Friday, January 13, 2017
The Journey.... Getting the numbers
So I had my reality check and my motivation and had committed to my daughter to be her test subject for her exercise prescription class. The thought of getting back into shape, really in shape was so exciting to me. During the weeks between my first offer and when we were actually able to schedule my time in the lab, there were multiple conversations and my daughter was very clear about what was involved.
However, focusing on details isn't necessarily a strong point for me. I see the big picture really well, I can visualize projects with the best of them but thinking through details is something I often gloss over while I'm making plans. And as the date for my assessment approached, I realized that I had chosen to ignore a few details. I am fairly certain that I chose to ignore these particular details because my "why?" for this project was so strong. I wanted to be strong and independent for a very long time. I didn't want to be a burden to my children. Having a strong "why" is always important because it can get you through the parts of a journey that are uncomfortable or difficult and that was true for me in this situation.
To actually get myself into shape, I needed my daughter to do an exercise prescription for me. In order for her to be able to determine the exercises that I would need to get started on this journey, I would need to undergo a complete physical assessment. We found a date and time for that to happen. I was committed and I told everyone, whether they wanted to know or not. For the first time in decades I was looking forward to being in shape, not just losing weight, not just being able to run a 5K but actually being strong and fit and healthier than ever.
All this sounds good and it was. But when I actually arrived and went with my daughter over to the lab, I could no longer ignore the reality of the situation. In order to truly assess my fitness level there would be a weigh in, calibers, tape measures, and exercises and the lifting of weights and the results of everything would be recorded on paper. UGH!!!! Measurements, weight, BMI are not things I EVER like to find out but to have my daughter find out and actually be the person to share this information with me was a very humbling thought. And that is why I refused to think about it until it was actually happening.
The numbers-- BMI, weight, ratios-- were far worse than I had thought they would be and placed me at a relatively high risk for health issues. When I had my latest blood work done for my annual physical, the results all came back in the normal or good range. Now that I was getting these assessment results from this very professional and competent exercise science student I couldn't pretend anymore. I had been dodging a bullet and I had to face the facts. I was obese and weak and reached my max heart rate WAY too soon. Looking at the results of the tests (some of which I couldn't even begin much less complete) and then thinking about my family health history, it was a very rude awakening.
If I didn't make changes and make them soon, I would be looking at a life filled with doctor appointments, prescriptions, tests, and constantly watching numbers. Remaining independent would be a struggle and I would quickly become one of those very old 50 somethings who struggle to do every day activities. And I would have no one to blame but myself. By turning a blind eye to my unhealthy habits and ignoring the things I could no longer do, I was essentially sentencing myself to a quality of life that would not allow me to live the dreams I have for my future. If I had looked closely at what this assessment was going to entail and reveal to me, then I quite possibly would have chickened out. I don't know if I would have been strong enough to go through with it. Fortunately for me, I had committed to someone who means the world to me. I had given myself no choice and for that I am truly grateful. Yes, the reality of both the assessment and my physical condition were very humbling and quite embarrassing. But by going through with it and getting these I have been given the gift of knowledge and truth and a way to change the course of my life. And for that I am very grateful.
However, focusing on details isn't necessarily a strong point for me. I see the big picture really well, I can visualize projects with the best of them but thinking through details is something I often gloss over while I'm making plans. And as the date for my assessment approached, I realized that I had chosen to ignore a few details. I am fairly certain that I chose to ignore these particular details because my "why?" for this project was so strong. I wanted to be strong and independent for a very long time. I didn't want to be a burden to my children. Having a strong "why" is always important because it can get you through the parts of a journey that are uncomfortable or difficult and that was true for me in this situation.
To actually get myself into shape, I needed my daughter to do an exercise prescription for me. In order for her to be able to determine the exercises that I would need to get started on this journey, I would need to undergo a complete physical assessment. We found a date and time for that to happen. I was committed and I told everyone, whether they wanted to know or not. For the first time in decades I was looking forward to being in shape, not just losing weight, not just being able to run a 5K but actually being strong and fit and healthier than ever.
All this sounds good and it was. But when I actually arrived and went with my daughter over to the lab, I could no longer ignore the reality of the situation. In order to truly assess my fitness level there would be a weigh in, calibers, tape measures, and exercises and the lifting of weights and the results of everything would be recorded on paper. UGH!!!! Measurements, weight, BMI are not things I EVER like to find out but to have my daughter find out and actually be the person to share this information with me was a very humbling thought. And that is why I refused to think about it until it was actually happening.
The numbers-- BMI, weight, ratios-- were far worse than I had thought they would be and placed me at a relatively high risk for health issues. When I had my latest blood work done for my annual physical, the results all came back in the normal or good range. Now that I was getting these assessment results from this very professional and competent exercise science student I couldn't pretend anymore. I had been dodging a bullet and I had to face the facts. I was obese and weak and reached my max heart rate WAY too soon. Looking at the results of the tests (some of which I couldn't even begin much less complete) and then thinking about my family health history, it was a very rude awakening.
If I didn't make changes and make them soon, I would be looking at a life filled with doctor appointments, prescriptions, tests, and constantly watching numbers. Remaining independent would be a struggle and I would quickly become one of those very old 50 somethings who struggle to do every day activities. And I would have no one to blame but myself. By turning a blind eye to my unhealthy habits and ignoring the things I could no longer do, I was essentially sentencing myself to a quality of life that would not allow me to live the dreams I have for my future. If I had looked closely at what this assessment was going to entail and reveal to me, then I quite possibly would have chickened out. I don't know if I would have been strong enough to go through with it. Fortunately for me, I had committed to someone who means the world to me. I had given myself no choice and for that I am truly grateful. Yes, the reality of both the assessment and my physical condition were very humbling and quite embarrassing. But by going through with it and getting these I have been given the gift of knowledge and truth and a way to change the course of my life. And for that I am very grateful.
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
The Journey: my inspiration part 1
I always imagined that I would be able to be independent for decades to come. My Grandma Rhyner has always been my role model for this. She was always busy, always doing things, accomplishing things that she enjoyed. She sold Avon for decades (like 6 of them) and she sewed. She took in sewing during the depression to supplement the family's income. She could make a winter coat for a woman by just taking her measurements. And she lived in Green Bay, WI so when she made a winter coat, it had to be warm and really stand up to the elements. She would take the measurements, make a pattern, then make the coat. Later in life, she mostly sewed quilts. She made quilts for everyone in the family. Between me and my kids, I think we still have close to a dozen Great-Grandma quilts around the house. And she donated quilts to the missions. She was the roll lady at the Cathedral in Green Bay for decades. Meaning she was in charge of arranging the coffee and rolls after masses. I admired her because she found things she liked to do and did them. She enjoyed her life and she was productive and charitable. And in my late teens and twenties, I loved sitting at her dining room table or in her sewing room, chatting for hours. Her generosity was admirable but what impressed me was she lived at home, taking care of herself until she was 86 years old. The last couple of months, things were a bit more difficult but still she could take care of herself. She got sick just a couple of months after my daughter was born and died just a couple of weeks later. I was happy that my daughter was able to lay in her arms for a while before she left us but I was so sad that she was gone.
My goal was to live like my Grandma. She did her own laundry in her basement laundry room until she died. The first Avon order she missed in nearly 60 years was due the day she died. She could do all the everyday things she needed to. So when I started noticing that, at 52, I couldn't kneel as easily as I thought I should be able to or get up as quickly and easily as I wanted, I knew that living as independently as Grandma had was not going to be possible if I didn't do something soon. I had two choices: give up on a goal that I've had for more than half my life or get to work and make some major changes. I'm choosing to make changes. Thanks for reading about my journey. My hope in sharing this journey is that you will find the motivation within yourself to make the changes needed to be a healthier version of yourself. So don't just read what I'm doing, if you need to make some changes, join me on this journey. Leave a comment below so we can encourage each other.
My goal was to live like my Grandma. She did her own laundry in her basement laundry room until she died. The first Avon order she missed in nearly 60 years was due the day she died. She could do all the everyday things she needed to. So when I started noticing that, at 52, I couldn't kneel as easily as I thought I should be able to or get up as quickly and easily as I wanted, I knew that living as independently as Grandma had was not going to be possible if I didn't do something soon. I had two choices: give up on a goal that I've had for more than half my life or get to work and make some major changes. I'm choosing to make changes. Thanks for reading about my journey. My hope in sharing this journey is that you will find the motivation within yourself to make the changes needed to be a healthier version of yourself. So don't just read what I'm doing, if you need to make some changes, join me on this journey. Leave a comment below so we can encourage each other.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)